For a long time, (since I was about 11), I have struggled with anxiety and depression. I didn't tell anyone because I thought it was just who I was. I didn't even know what it was; I didn't know those terms. I didn't know anything could be done to change it. That's not me blaming anyone. No one knew. I kept it a secret because I wanted so badly to be normal.
The times I felt best were when I could escape. That either meant going outside or drawing or both. More often than not, I felt out of control. It was more than about being sad. It was this feeling something was wrong and I was in a pit where no one could reach me.
As I got older, the way I felt in control was to try to be perfect. If I could just make good grades, do well at my job, and try to be a good person, life would be good. I tried over and over. It didn't work. Of course I know that now. Hindsight.
Here's what else I know now: you can't fix it yourself. You have to tell someone. You have to get help. When your mind is hurt, you can't make it better on your own. You need to tell someone. About 4 years ago, I sought help. There were multiple things I did. The first was phone a friend. I also started going to a chiropractor within a specific practice to address my issues. I'm not saying that's for everyone. It's what I did, and it's what helped me. There's not a one trick pony to heal the mind. There are other things I've done too. I'm happy to share what's worked for me with anyone who wants to know more, but the biggest key is to tell someone and seek help. You can't get out of the pit by yourself. You need someone to throw you a rope before you can start climbing. If anyone even reads this, I hope it helps. Call your friend. Call your parents. Call your pastor. Whatever works. Just start somewhere. There is life on the other side of the traps in your mind.
